If it’s not a requirement that your learners need to be able to scrub the video, can you remove the player, and then add your own play, pause and stop buttons? Then you can trigger any additional actions you need via the buttons. If you look at the embed code for a YouTube video, you can remove the player. Then for the initial Play button, I’d put a transparent button over the entire video with maybe a note to play the video using the button below. It’s not the most elegant solution, but it could work!